Waiting
by Shattered Mirror01
Summary: He promised he'd come back...right? CloudLeon. EIGHTH CHAP IS UP!
1. Waiting

**Konichiwa!**

**I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU ALL THE FICS I'VE PROMISED, I'M SORRY!!!!!!!! **

**Seriously, I'm working on it. I was working on the next chap of Affection and then that damn plot bunny bit me so I had to stop and write this little one-shot/drabble thingamajig. **

**Oh, and to anybody who catches the Three Days Grace reference, I will...give you a cookie? **

**To Jumesyn- love you to bits, dearest. I will be sending you a very long, ranting PM shortly. To Snickey, for informing me of things I should already know about in this world and not laughing at me and just letting me rant while I was having the crappiest day. To Keithlee, for putting up for my weirdness and getting me into Three Days Grace in the first place. To Ichigo, even though you will never read this...**

**And to everybody who leaves a review, you guys seriously make my day a tad bit brighter. Go away, sun, I can live off reviews. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Maybe it was subconscious. Maybe it was on purpose. Maybe he'd sparred with Yuffie too many times and couldn't think properly due to major brain damage. Or maybe he just honestly forgot. But when Leon stopped locking the doors of Merlin's house at night, it was cause for much concern amongst his friends.

At first, nobody had noticed. It wasn't until a Large Body had somehow squeezed its way through the back door and rolled around the living room did the issue of Leon's carelessness become addressed. He had no excuse, as he stood in the now devastated living room, sheepishly holding his Gunblade while Aerith examined the door in her pajamas.

It wasn't broken down? Odd. Then how did it get in? The door wasn't locked? Who had guard duty tonight? Leon did? Oh. You're slipping up, Leon. Maybe you need a vacation.

To which he simply glared at the floor, gripping his Gunblade tighter then necessary.

"It won't happen again."

Which, of course, it did, as Aerith found out the next night Leon had guard duty. Leon simply didn't lock the doors. He approached them. Stared at them. Glared at them. And then walked away. Aerith slipped out from her hiding place and locked them herself, and then padded upstairs to contemplate this discovery.

Leon would never purposely put them in danger. Never- they were best friends, practically family. But why would he purposely leave the door unlocked? The man had the mind of steel trap, he couldn't have forgotten. He looked right at the darn thing!

Aerith shook her head as she pulled the lily-patterned sheets up to her nose. All this thinking was a giving her a headache.

She watched him again the next night, and watched the same exact display. Again, she locked the doors and went to bed, confused as ever. She'd told Yuffie and the others by now, and they'd taken it upon themselves to find out the problem too. Cid's bright idea was too much stress. So the next day, Leon suddenly found himself with nothing to do, seeing as Yuffie, Aerith, Cid, and Tifa were patrolling Radiant Garden with a vengeance he'd never seen before, even taking the districts he normally did.

But that night as they all watched from Aerith's (now very cramped) hiding spot, Leon still didn't lock the doors.

So they kept trying. Leon actually seemed more stressed out then usual, now that he had nothing to keep him occupied. Too much pent up energy, not enough dead Heartless. He couldn't even sit still now, fingers constantly twitching. They gave up the ruthless patrolling (they were tired anyway), and he seemed to perk up a bit. No more twitch. But no locked doors.

Aerith couldn't remember being this frustrated with Leon, watching him glare at the door in his usual patrol ritual. She didn't know if she could take it anymore. Sooner or later she'd have to tell him that he was actually wrong.

But you see, that was when Leon broke his routine in a very unusual way. He looked up from the door handle and out through the stained glass, his storm grey eyes looking at something only he could see.

"You'd better come back in one piece," he growled at the glass, turning away and walking towards his favorite armchair.

Aerith blinked. And blinked again, her mind going into overdrive to understand his words. Her green eyes glittered, her lips formed a smile, when she finally pieced it together, and if Leon wasn't in earshot she'd have giggled.

_That certainly explains it, _she thought, locking the doors and climbing into bed. She pulled her cell phone from her dress pocket and pressed a button, glancing out at the bright waning crescent moon above her.

_Please leave a message after the tone. Beep. _

"Hello, it's Aerith. How've you been? You're getting enough to eat, right? Well, listen, I need you to do me a favor. Can you please come back to Radiant Garden? For a little while?" She paused, trying to think of the right way to explain. "I think Leon's waiting for you. Be safe, okay? Bye." She shut off her phone for the night and burrowed under the covers.

He'd come. He always did.

It was a calm, cool summer night in Radiant Garden, beautiful as always. Leon's fingers tapped a war march on his Gunblade. It was about three in the morning, but he'd decided that patrolling was a good thing for him. He'd already seen Aerith come and lock the doors for him (really, how could she call that a clever hiding spot?) and he was glad that they hadn't relieved him of duty. He needed something to concentrate on. Mindless Heartless eradication was pretty much the ticket.

But there were so many other things that Leon would rather concentrate on. Like a pair of sickly blue eyes that caught the light in way too many pretty shades, or pale, smooth skin that was cold to the touch and sent sparks up his arm, or that crazy flaxen hair…

_No! Snap out of it! You picked guard duty for a reason, Leon!_ he screamed at himself, tightening his grip on his weapon. Concentrate on something else. Anything else. Like, for instance, _don't _concentrate on how absolutely _beautiful_ he is when he actually lets himself smile…

_Ah! You're doing it again! Stop it! _He gave himself a mental smack on the head and started to pace on the carpet, careful to keep his Gunblade within reach.

Damn that blonde. _Damn him. _Why did he keep _doing_ this to Leon? He just absolutely refused to leave the brunette's head, latching onto him and infecting him like some sort of sadistic _(wonderful…ack, stop it, Leon!)_ virus. He just wouldn't go away, and it was driving Leon up the wall. He knew what was best for him: _he _was not.

At first, the door thing had been completely subconscious. He didn't remember locking them, or unlocking them, or whatever. It wasn't until the Large Body incident that he realized what he was doing, and then when he realized _why _he kept that door unlocked, it made Leon's heart ache.

He always did have the bad habit of wandering in at three in the morning. He'd been locked out more then once. So Leon started keeping it unlocked, just in case. He'd promised the others he'd come back, right?

Leon glanced out the window, the waxing crescent moon giving an unusual glow to the streets. He'd come…right?

Leon shook his head, agitated, and continued to pace. This wasn't good for him. And the pacing was starting to wear down the carpet.

_Tap, tap. _

Leon's heart shot up into his throat as he grabbed his weapon. _Calm down. It's probably a Heartless. Or a Nobody. It's not him. _

_Tap, tap, tap. _

He approached the door cautiously, and when the image outside the glass panes registered in his sleep-deprived eyes, he gasped. Those sickly blue eyes were staring at him, ethereal in the glow of the moon, as he silently asked Leon to let him in.

The lock was undone in seconds and the blonde stepped inside, shivering in his all-black clothes. He nodded a thank-you to Leon, set his buster sword against the wall, and collapsed in an armchair, clearly exhausted from whatever his travels had brought him.

Leon smiled. "Welcome home, Cloud."

* * *

**What does that little purple button do?**

**Oh, and I might, MIGHT, add onto this. I just have to work out what the next section should have and IF I get enough reviews...yeah, yeah, I'm shameless. Now click. CLICK!**


	2. Home

**Konichiwa!**

**I just want to say that I am really, really grateful to everybody who reviewed, and I would thank you personally but my computer is a piece of junk and doesn't like me. It really means a lot to me that you take the time to respond. It makes my day a lot better to see shtuff in my inbox from fanfiction! Arigatou ne! (If I spelled that wrong, sorry!)**

**Now, know this, folks: THERE WILL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER OF THIS. I don't care how long it takes me to write, but there will be a third chapter. I was working on it all day today. This chap is shorter, and will be the worst. I'm sorry. I kind of rushed to get it done. **

**Dedicated To: Snickey- PLEASE KIDNAP ME! Keithlee- YOU ARE ALLOWED TO JOIN IN THE KIDNAPPING! Katie- I owe you a cookie for the Three Days Grace thing. Ichigo- you are never allowed to read anything I write on fanfiction. I'm not giving you my screenname. And Kaiba, if you read this, you aren't allowed to tell him. But thanks, Ichigo, for making me feel special.**

**And last but not least, to my dear Jumesyn. Miss ya! **

* * *

Cloud hated traveling. He'd traveled so much that he could forget the hate, because it all became habit. Wander around for a bit. Fight off Heartless and the occasional bandit. Sleep here for tonight. Up at dawn. Repeat.

You'd think visiting other worlds and distant lands would be exciting. It was about as monotonous as reciting the alphabet. He didn't explore, didn't take in the scenery or the local culture. Hell, he didn't even ask for directions. He simply moved- he didn't care what was around him.

But what he hated even more than traveling was staying in one place- that too became monotonous, and it also made you less vigilant. You got complacent, you let your guard down, and then, _wham!_

Your past catches up with you.

* * *

Cloud sidestepped a claw and swiped at the Heartless with his sword, dispatching it as easily as drawing a breath. That was the last one of the pack that attacked him. He was somewhere in the Pride Lands, and had been for almost three days. He picked up the munny they'd left behind, put his buster sword in its holster and sat next to his campfire, adding another log to the scarlet blaze.

He stared at the fire, painful memories of the past encroaching upon his thoughts, when his pocket started to move. He jumped, and then rolled his eyes at his own fright. Somebody was calling his cell phone.

Cloud never answered it. Never. If it was important, they'd leave a message. He'd always listen to those.

His phone made an odd beeping noise, signifying a voice mail, and he flipped it open and held it to his ear.

"_Hello, it's Aerith. How've you been? You're getting enough to eat, right? Well, listen, I need you to do me a favor. Can you please come back to Radiant Garden? For a little while?" _There was an odd pause in Aerith's message._ "I think Leon's waiting for you. Be safe, okay? Bye."_

Cloud's mouth hung open ever so slightly at the last bit. He replayed the message again, again, and again, holding the phone so close his ear was beginning to hurt.

_I think Leon's waiting for you. _

What did she mean? What could she _possibly _have meant by that?

Leon was the reason he'd left in the first place.

* * *

It took him a month to get back to Hollow Bastion, or Radiant Garden, as the townspeople stubbornly referred to it now. He'd lost track of how long ago he'd left it, and he wasn't looking forward to the lecture he was gonna get from the girls. Cid would probably just chuckle, then pound him into a pulp for breaking one of his gummi ships. He didn't want to know how much the chain-smoker would charge for repairs.

There was, of course, Leon to deal with. Cloud didn't know what to think about the brunette, but he figured he'd deal with it after asking Aerith what she meant in that message. It had rattled him, to say the least.

He landed at the Bailey, purposely making sure it was nighttime. Yeah, he was stalling, but it had saved him before. He wandered around the town, his boots quiet on the cobblestone as the crescent moon illuminated his path. Cloud was impressed with the work they'd done in such a short time. He hardly recognized the place.

Before he even realized it, he was staring at Merlin's front door. Cloud didn't want to go in. It was 3:52 in the morning, for god's sake. Nobody would be up, and everything would be locked anyway.

And it was their _home. Home. _It hurt to even think the word. Yuffie had told him, before he left, that this could be his home now.

Home- a place to live, a sanctuary, a refuge, somewhere where you could be with the ones you loved and be safe. Every home he'd ever had had been destroyed, and he wouldn't let this one go too.

He steeled himself as he walked up to the back door. Tifa had given him a spare key, but he had left it on her dresser after she handed it to him. He wouldn't be here anymore- why would he need the key?

Cloud glanced through the stained glass of the back door, expecting to find an empty room. Instead, the light was on, and he could see Leon pacing back and forth in front of the sofa, looking fairly agitated. Cloud wanted, more then ever, to run and never come back. But he also wanted to see Leon.

_Tap, tap._

It was almost amusing, the way Leon jumped like that, clearly unnerved. He smirked.

_Tap, tap, tap. _

He saw those storm grey eyes looking at his own, and Cloud could feel his heart stop. Leon unlocked the door in a flash and let him inside. He shivered, the cool night air suddenly sharp against his skin, and he hurried inside. He set down his sword against the wall, surprised by how much his muscles ached, and plopped down on the sofa.

"Welcome home, Cloud."

Home. In spite of himself, Cloud smiled into his hands.

* * *

**Now that I think about it, there's another Three Days Grace hint in here too, but it wasn't intentional. A cookie to the person who finds it. **

**Now, review! Please! It'll give me motivation, and motivation means the next chap will come out quicker! So ha! XD XD XD Sorry, too much Mountain Dew...**


	3. Issho Ni

**YAHOO! CHAPTER THREE IS OFFICIALLY _HERE_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Sorry it took so long- summer school sucks. That and the dreaded Writer's Block. About the title- I found the words 'Issho Ni' on a Sora/Riku picture, and when I tried looking it up, I couldn't find a translation. But judging from what the picture had (Sora holding onto Riku's hand) I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of "Please Don't Go."**

**Oh, and I couldn't really find a song reference in this one. I see...two, actually. But that's if you squint really hard. It's actually kind of funny- I was writing part of this and I turned on Media Player and the lyrics described the situation I was talking about exactly. It was creepy... and you know what? It was Three Day's Grace. I got to go see them and Breaking Benjamin live last week, it was so freaking awesome... they kick ass. **

**So, cookie to whoever finds the references. I'm upping this story to a T rating cuz of language. **

**Dedication- Jumesyn, I'm sorry I haven't written you a PM, I'm forgetful and lazy. To Snickey- thanks for listening to my rant. To Keithlee- thanks for being my friend. Kaiba- you'd better come visit me woman! To Ichigo, I used something that you said and did for this chap...sorry. To Katie, Karena, Shawna and everyone else...thanks for putting up with me. **

**Oh, oh, oh! I am giving you all a present! Read on to find out!**

* * *

"_It's been bothering you, hasn't it? The message I left you."_

"_Yeah."_

"_How many times have you listened to it?"_

"…_lost count after forty."_

"_Really? I didn't think it would affect you so strongly…"_

"_Aerith. Tell me what you meant by it."_

"_Now, come on, Cloud. I figured it would have been obvious to you."_

"_Well, I'm a little slower then you think, now just explain." _

_Sigh._

"_H-hey! Where are you going, Aerith?!"_

"_Cloud…just ask him yourself."_

* * *

He slipped outside of Merlin's house, silent as a shadow, crouching low as he made a run for it. He'd made it out of the house without waking anyone up, which he was more then grateful for- they'd never forgive him if they caught him sneaking out.

Then again, they'd never forgive him for running away again after coming back for less then twenty-four hours.

He ignored the guilt rushing into his veins as he headed for the gummi dock, running as fast as he could but trying to stay inconspicuous (which was practically impossible). He hated himself for running away from something that seemed so trivial. It was just a simple question, really, but how could Aerith even think that Cloud could ask _him,_ of all people, something like that?

He shook his head, the odd mix of guilt, shame and fear giving him a boost of speed. Running away may look childish, but it was the option that sounded most appealing right now.

"_Cloud…just ask him yourself."_

…easy for you to say, Aerith. _You_ don't feel like _this _when you're near him, _your_ heart doesn't stop beating when he looks at you, _your _skin doesn't feel warm whenever he gets within ten feet of you.

Don't you _dare _say it so easily. _You _don't know a damn thing.

The sudden rage at Aerith was unexpected, and Cloud missed a turn. He cursed and backtracked, shaking his head in a worthless effort to clear it. He couldn't afford to lose his concentration now. He'd just save it for later.

He jogged down the correct path to the gummi dock, opening the door and flipping on the lights. Inside were Cid's prized possessions- five different brightly colored ships lying in wait, including the one he'd "borrowed" last time he'd left. It was still being repaired, and was currently unflyable. He recognized Sora's old ship, which was also in for repairs.

_Sorry, Cid. I'll pay for it later,_ he thought, flipping a few switches to open the roof. (Somewhere a few blocks away, Cid began to toss and turn fitfully in his sleep, muttering something along the lines of "that connivin' lil' bastard".) He grabbed a set of keys hanging on a bulletin board, with a little marker named "Fenrir" attached to it. Fenrir was the last one in the row, a sleek black gummi built for speed and maneuverability.

Perfect for running away.

He opened the cockpit door, glancing at the sliver of silver moon in the sky. It was an oddly peaceful scene, but it did nothing to make him feel any calmer. That would only happen when he was far, far away from here.

"You could at least say good-bye."

Cloud gasped and swung his buster sword around him, placing it barely inches from Leon's neck. His heart was beating way too fast to be healthy, and his mako blue eyes were wide as he looked at Leon's ever-stoic face. No. Not here. Not now. He'd been so damn _close…_

"What are you doing here?" Cloud congratulated himself on keeping his voice steady.

Leon looked at him closely. "I'd ask you the same thing, but you don't have a sword at your throat." Cloud lowered his sword sheepishly and began to study his shoelaces intently.

"I saw you leave the house. I was curious," Leon explained, walking over to the wall. He adopted his familiar leaning position, crossing his arms and closing his eyes.

Cloud frowned. "It's almost one. Why were you awake anyway?"

Leon shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

Cloud slipped his sword back in its holster, continuing to avoid Leon's gaze. "What do you want?"

"…You look scared, Cloud."

Cloud spun back around to face the brunette, his cheeks suddenly flushed. "I'm not-!"

Leon held up his hands. "Sorry. Bad choice of words. You look…" He bit his lip. "Upset."

Cloud glared at him. "It's none of your business. Go away."

"Why did you leave the first time, Cloud?"

"I told you, it's none of your business!" Cloud retorted. It was getting very hard to keep his voice quiet and level, but at the moment he didn't really care.

Leon closed his eyes, shifting his weight to a more comfortable position. "The others are worried about you. They offered you a permanent place here, and as far as I know, the invitation is still open."

Cloud said nothing.

"Sephiroth is gone for good. It's been, what, six months? You didn't even stay for a week after he died- you just left to go wander the worlds. What are you looking for?"

Cloud debated his answers carefully, trying to decide how honest he could be with Leon and not reveal anything.

"I'm not looking for anything." At least that was the truth.

Leon frowned. "Then why don't you stay?"

"It's complicated!" Cloud snapped. "Why do you care?"

Shrug. "Aerith and the others get worried when you're away. I'm looking out for them."

The blonde heard something shatter into a thousand pieces- oh. It was his already bleeding heart.

"Then… you weren't…" he whispered.

Leon stood properly, his expression one of surprise and confusion. "Weren't what?"

Cloud snapped his head up, face back to an emotionless mask. "Forget it, Leon."

Damn. He'd been so close to getting something out of Cloud. He stepped closer, making sure there was still plenty of distance between them. He'd rather not be decapitated tonight.

"There has to be something keeping you away from Radiant Garden. I want to know what it is."

Cloud kept his head down, refusing to look at Leon. He turned to face the gummi ship, running a hand over the malleable material in an effort to concentrate on something- anything- else.

"I want to know, Clo-"

"If I tell you, will you go away?" he asked, turning his head a fraction of an inch. Leon was struck by how incredibly child-like Cloud seemed at that moment, offering information in exchange for a sense of safety. Instead of facing whatever was frightening him, he ran away, hiding in a false sense of security until his monster found him again. Leon didn't want Cloud to run away, especially if it was from him. He thought about it for a moment, not wanting to lie but not wanting to frighten him off either. It was rather like trying to get a stray kitten to come to you. You have to gain it's trust first.

Trust- something the blonde SOLDIER had forgotten how to give a long time ago.

Leon scratched the back of his head. "I might go away. I might not. It depends on the answer you give." He could see Cloud stiffen and inwardly cursed. Maybe that was a bad move.

Cloud was still thinking, absentmindedly tapping his fingers on Fenrir's hull. How much could Leon know? How much? He couldn't remember being this confused: a part of him wanted to tell Leon, to stop the stoic masquerade he'd long grown sick of- but the other part of him, the one trying to shield him from the pain he knew he'd feel anyway, insisted on pushing Leon away.

He didn't want to push him away anymore. But what if Aerith was wrong? What if Leon started to _hate _him? Cloud didn't think he'd be able to take it.

But he didn't want to hide anymore.

"It's…my light." His hands clenched tightly, so unused to hearing the words out loud.

Leon took another step closer, caught off guard. That definitely wasn't the answer he expected. He'd been expecting something along the lines of _"I stay away because I hate your guts, Leonhart!" _

At least this didn't hurt near as much as the alternative.

"Your light? You're still looking for it?"

Cloud shook his head, blonde spikes moving hypnotically back and forth, catching the moonlight in a damnably pretty way. "I said I wasn't looking for anything."

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a migraine creeping around the edges of his brain. "Then why…?"

"My light is here, Leon. That's why I stay away." The words were simple, spoken in a half-whisper like he couldn't believe himself. Leon almost fell over. He certainly wasn't expecting _that_- and now Cloud's odd sense of logic was beginning to strangle him. This was way too confusing.

Cloud spoke up again, knowing by the silence that Leon didn't understand. "No matter what I do, or where I go, trouble will find me. _No matter what. _And the ones I love pay the price. I- I don't want my light to go out because of me."

"So by staying away from Radiant Garden," Leon said, "you are _protecting_ your light?"

Nod.

Curiosity was getting the better of Leon. "What is it? Your light?"

Cloud shook his head. "It doesn't matter," he muttered, as he hoisted himself into the cockpit. "I shouldn't have come back in the first place."

Oh no. _Hell no_. Leon's heart sped up unnaturally as he ran to the gummi ship. Cloud didn't even have time to shut the door all the way- Leon wrenched it open and pulled the blonde out bodily, proceeding to then pin him against the side of the ship, effectively keeping him from escaping again.

"What the hell are you _doing?!_" Cloud hissed, face mere inches from Leon's.

"If it was such a mistake to come back here," Leon said breathlessly, "then why did you?"

Cloud struggled, but Leon kept his grip firm on the blonde's wrists. Since when did he get this strong?

"Answer me, Cloud!" Leon said, forcing himself to look at the blonde's pain-filled eyes. The anger he saw- the _fear_- made him feel sick. "Why?"

"Because she said you were waiting for me!" he blurted.

Leon was starting think that tonight couldn't throw any more surprises at him. He could swear his brain was smoking as his grip on Cloud's wrists loosened _"What?"_

Cloud bowed his head sheepishly, looking highly embarrassed at the explanation. He leaned back into the gummi ship, like he was trying to get sucked in so he wouldn't have to face Leon. "Aerith. She-she called my phone a month ago and said that you were waiting for me."

Leon said nothing. Aerith knew. And she'd told Cloud. Shit.

Cloud suddenly looked up, his eyes glowing with a kind of anger that Leon didn't understand. "I mean, what the hell was I supposed to think?! I didn't get it, so I came back to ask her myself."

Didn't get it? How much had she told him? "What did she say?"

Cloud looked away again. "…to ask you."

Now Leon felt his irritation flare up. "So you'd rather run away than ask me a simple question?!"

"What would you have done?!" Cloud cried, his voice strangely desperate now. "How the hell could I _ever_ have asked _you_ something like that, Leon?! I left Hollow Bastion _because of you_!!!

_Because of you. I left Hollow Bastion because of you. _The words reverberated around Leon's mind as he dropped Cloud's wrists limply, his mouth open and his eyes wide, refusing to believe the words the blonde had uttered so loudly. His chest felt cold, like he was being stabbed with icicles, and his lungs weren't obeying him anymore. He backed up, keeping his eyes down, missing the look of horror on Cloud's face as he hurriedly walked away.

"No…."

He almost made it to the door of the gummi dock. Almost. It wasn't until he felt Cloud's hands on his arm that he stopped, but he didn't turn.

"If you left because of me, then I won't get in your way, Cloud." That's what he wanted to hear, right? His throat felt tight and his eyes felt warm and wet, but he was _not_ crying, damn it. It was his allergies. Right. Allergies.

"Damn it, Leon, that's not what I meant!" Cloud forcibly twisted Leon around to face him, an unnatural kind of fear pulsing through him that was unfamiliar. He'd known fear. The fear of darkness, the fear of Sephiroth, the fear of losing his friends. But this was different, so different. He couldn't lose Leon.

And now he might have, with Leon glaring at him in a false sense of fury that Cloud recognized.

"Then what, Cloud? I can't understand your logic unless you let me in your head, and that's obviously not going to happen."

His voice was cold, mocking even. But the pain was still there.

"But…it…it's you," Cloud whispered, holding Leon's arm tighter.

Leon's eyes narrowed, wanting to leave but intrigued by Cloud's words.

"You're…my light. You. That's why I left- I didn't want my light to go out. I didn't want you to get hurt because of me."

Such a tiny, delicate whisper escaped Cloud's lips, and Leon thought for a moment that it was his own imagination supplying the words. But they were _here, _and this was _real, _and those words were real.

At Leon's silence, the blonde continued, still holding Leon's arm tightly, afraid to let go. "I was trying to protect you. From myself." He choked over his words, stumbled and tripped, but now that Leon finally knew he didn't want to stop talking. "And-and I was scared. Of what I felt when I was around you."

Leon closed his eyes, trying to breathe properly. "What did you feel?" he whispered.

Cloud was still having trouble with the words as he murmured his answer, occasionally risking a glance at the brunette's face. "It…it wasn't happiness. I don't think so, anyway- but then again, I don't remember the last time I was happy. I just feel…quiet. And calm. Clean. And I feel…_right_, when I'm around you, and _safe_, and I can't remember ever feeling like that and it _terrified _me….so I did what came naturally. I ran. And it kept you safe, didn't it?"

_He was trying…to protect me? _Leon raised a hand and brushed a stay spike of hair away from Cloud's face. Their eyes met, examining each other's pools of sky and trying to decipher the mysteries they found there. Leon's fingers lingered on Cloud's cheek, but he didn't notice- those pretty blue eyes were the only thing he could see.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head with a small snort. "Aerith was right, you know."

Now it was Cloud's turn to be perplexed, cocking his head slightly to the side.

"When you lived here, you'd come back to the house in the middle of the morning. Remember?"

Cloud nodded, unsure of what Leon was getting at.

"You had no key and no one was up, so you'd have to wait outside for a few hours." Leon had a soft, sad sort of smile on his face as he explained himself.

"When you left, I stopped locking the doors. I would patrol, and I would just stare at that door for hours. I didn't realize it for a long time. But when I did, I knew it was for you. So you wouldn't have to wait and freeze to death. So I would be the first to know that you were back, the first to know that you were safe and sound."

Cloud squeezed the brunette's arm, disbelieving. ".…You….you were waiting?"

"Mm-hmm."

In one fluid motion Leon took Cloud's hands in his own, leaning slightly closer to the blonde's face so their foreheads touched.

"I don't want to wait anymore. Your darkness is gone- I won't go out if you stay around. I want you to stay, Cloud."

Cloud gave Leon's hand another squeeze, fearfully shaking his head. "Please don't say that. Please."

"…why not?"

"I can't stay. You'll get hurt. You _will._"

Leon moved his head and placed it next to Cloud's ear, his lips brushing against the flesh as he softly whispered, **"**It'll hurt me more if you leave again."

"But…"

"Please. Stay with me."

Cloud said nothing, his breath rushing past Leon's ear in uneven gasps. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, this couldn't possibly be happening. He felt that familiar warmth running through him at the brunette's presence and he just wanted to melt into it, to sleep and stop running away from his fears. He wanted what Leon offered him so badly that he could taste it- a simple sort of contentedness that had eluded him for far too long.

"You don't have to stay forever, I'm not asking that. Just…just for a little bit," Leon said again. Working up whatever courage he could find in his quickly beating heart, he quickly brushed his lips against Cloud's cheek, knowing that if he didn't do it now he never would.

Cloud looked up at him, eyes wide, completely unsure of how to respond to that kiss. Leon started to regret it, inwardly cursing himself to oblivion for moving too fast- until he felt Cloud's hands tugging at his neck and a pair of ice-cold lips on his skin. Leon pulled the blonde closer, resting his head on Cloud's shoulder, enjoying the feeling of the slightly smaller man pressed against him.

"Leon?" Cloud's voice was muffled and came from somewhere around his collarbone.

"Mm-hm?"

Cloud smiled into Leon's jacket. "Let's go home."

* * *

**This chap took forever and a day to write, and it felt kind of weird and disjoineted and awkward... I hate scenes with lots of dialogue. I hope I lived up to your expectations. **

**And for your present...I can't believe I'm doing this. I AM WRITING A FOURTH CHAPTER!!!!!!**


	4. Good Night and Good Luck

**Konichiwa, all! **

**I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for everyone who's reviewed, put this on Alert or Favorites... you guys seriously brighten my day. **

**This chap felt kind of rushed... but don't worry about it. I have something to tell you all... but you have to read the whole thing first, and I'll tell you at the end. No skipping! **

**Oh, and **_italics _**and **_(parentheses italics) _**is just my way of showing Cloud arguing with himself. **

**Dedicated to: Snickey, my bestest bestest friend, to Zexy, to Eryn, to Keithlee, to Kaiba, to everyone I know that I've forgotten, and finally to Jumesyn! Love ya darling! **

* * *

Never trust the silver screen. Real life is absolutely nothing like what Hollywood portrays. Cloud suddenly became acutely aware of this fact as he and Leon left the gummi dock, his hand in the brunette's. For one thing, when you are an extremely aloof person and you confess your deepest feelings to an equally aloof person, who also shares these feelings for you, you don't just end up in a flurry of hungry kisses. Film romance is just shallow like that.

For another thing, the couples in the movies always seem to know _exactly_ what to do. What to say, what to do, when to kiss them, where to kiss them, how to kiss them; you get the idea.

Now, apply those two facts to two cold, distant, methodical men, who almost never show emotion, who've confessed their feelings to each other, and who have never had any kind of romantic or sexual experiences in their entire lives.

…Yeah. They were in trouble. And it hadn't even been five minutes since their first kiss. Well, Cloud didn't really consider a kiss on the cheek to be the first, but that's beside the point.

They walked back to Merlin's house in silence, occasionally glancing at the other and hurriedly looking away. If they caught each other's eyes, it was enough to merit a half-smirk from them both, and then it was back to staring straight ahead or down at the cobblestones. Sometimes they squeezed each other's hands, as if they were making sure that the other was still there. While they may have looked calm on the outside, the inside was a flurry of hurried thoughts that they could barely comprehend. Heated internal debates went hand in hand with curious observations that had little relevance, as general confusion and fear mixed with an emotion that was as close to giddiness as the two would ever get. Neither of them were sure what to think. Which just made it all the more harder _to _think.

Leon sneaked a quick glimpse of Cloud's face, still unable to believe that he was there. He tightened his fingers for a second- yes, there was a hand there, and unless something extremely freaky was going on, it was definitely attached to Cloud. He was _here. _And it meant the world to Leon.

And right then, the world decided that they needed a shower. The first droplet hit Leon's nose dead center, the second landed on the tip of Cloud's ear, and the next thing the men knew there was water everywhere. Leon looked up hurriedly to see the heavens split open without a single warning and drop a summer storm right on top of their heads.

In the endless tapping of the rain, Leon heard a tiny, strangled laugh come from somewhere to his left. Cloud had let go of his hand and stood in the center of the street, staring up at the storm clouds with an odd expression of- well, the brunette wasn't quite sure what, but the word that crossed his mind was _freedom_. Like he'd been suddenly released from an invisible weight, the blonde seemed _lighter, _ready to float away in the winds of the storm raging above their heads.

"You know, Leon… I'd forgotten… how much I loved storms," he said quietly, silver water droplets sliding off his skin. There was no mistaking the tiny smile on his face as he opened his arms, ready to embrace the tempest raining down on him. Or a Squall.

Leon smiled along and walked over to where Cloud stood.

"Me too." He hesitated for a moment before lightly kissing the blonde's wet cheek, still surprised by the coldness of the skin he touched. Cloud looked away from the storm and into Leon's eyes, seeing no difference between them, and his smile grew. He leaned into Leon's chest, slowly, his arms halfway around the brunette's waist, giving him plenty of room to back away. He didn't, and Cloud took that to be an okay, and pressed himself against Leon. Not too closely, now, but it was satisfactory for them both.

This was the closest they'd ever been to each other. Physically, at least. Cloud had never really noticed Leon's scent (he avoided him like the plague, remember?) but the comforting mix of leather and coffee pleased him. It fit.

"Cloud?"

He looked up, confused at seeing a concerned look in Leon's eyes.

"You're shivering."

It wasn't until Leon said it that he even noticed the subtle shaking of his body. Leon put his arm around the ex-SOLDIER's shoulders, holding him close for warmth, and they continued to walk down the deserted streets to Merlin's house.

"Remind me to get you an extra key," Leon muttered as he slipped his own into the lock, pushing Cloud in first and shutting the door behind himself. He still shook, water dropping off his gravity-defying hair and clothes to soak the rug.

Leon took off his thoroughly drenched jacket and wrung it out, throwing it on the coat rack. He then grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around Cloud, encasing him in brown cotton, and started to chafe him dry. Cloud was suddenly reminded of his mother trying to dry him off after a bath, and he had to bite back the sudden urge to run out in the storm so he'd have to start all over again.

When his head finally emerged from the blanket cocoon, he could see that strange sort of affectionate concern in Leon's grey eyes. He couldn't remember ever feeling safer and he smiled.

Odd. Why did he smile so often around him? Ah, never mind, it felt nice.

Now came the part of the movie where the two young lovers, starry eyed and all, would saunter up hand in hand to one of their bedrooms, and the audience could only guess what happened next. Both Leon and Cloud realized that they had reached a point somewhat similar to this, and were both feverishly trying to figure out what they were supposed to do next. It wasn't like they could ask for advice, or look at the instruction manual. They were winging it all the way, and right now it seemed like they were headed for a brick wall.

"Um… y- you know… that I'm… that I'm not _asking_ you for… for _anything, _right?" Leon stuttered, a pink tinge noticeable on his cheeks.

Cloud nodded, having reached his conclusion, and proceeded to toss the blanket over Leon's blushing head. "Good night, Leon," he said, giving him one last embrace, and then walking upstairs to the room Aerith said he could keep.

Downstairs, Leon inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. At least he didn't have to make that decision on his own. It was kind of early for them to be… you know… in _bed _together. Even if they didn't _do _anything at all, it still implied something, and Leon wasn't sure his poor brain could handle it.

Plus, if Yuffie found out, she'd have a fucking field day. Leon shuddered at the thought and headed upstairs to his own room, nodding a good night to Cloud's bedroom door.

* * *

_Fifteen minutes. That's not bad. Not bad at all. You're doing just fine. You just have to last another…five hours._

…_Shit. _

Cloud tossed and turned in his bed fitfully, unable to get even remotely comfortable. He looked at the alarm clock every few seconds, willing the numbers to change. They laughed at him sadistically and stayed still, making a second agonizing and a minute feel like eternity. Cloud gave himself a mental smack on the head and begged himself to fall asleep. But he felt wired, like he'd been given a shot of adrenaline, except he didn't have the desire to move around at all. No, this was different.

_You are _not _going to do anything. You are going to stay in here, and you will sleep. That is _it.

_(But I can still sleep-)_

_No! You are staying in here, and that is final! You will not do anything foolish! You will not make an idiot of yourself! Now sleep! _

_(But I want to see him.)_

_It's only been fifteen minutes!!!! You are not that pathetic, Cloud Strife!!! You've spent the better part of a year _avoiding _him, for god's sake, and now after little more then a _half hour's _interaction, you can't get him out of your head?! No! Hell no! You are stronger then that!_

_(Sometimes to be strong, you have to be weak.) _

_What?! No!_

_(I want to see him.) _

_It makes you look… clingy. You know that, right? _

_(Not really. He'll understand.)_

But- 

_(I want to see him. So shut up.)_

And having won the argument against himself, Cloud got out of bed, walked out of his room, and padded softly down the hallway.

He almost knocked on the door. Almost. But he hesitated, his knuckles a bare half-inch from the wood, frozen in consideration. Was this too soon? Would he think it was obsessive? Would he even _care_? Cloud had no answers, so his hand stayed in mid-air, ready to make the (stupid? Fatal?) move.

He still hadn't moved when the bedroom door opened, revealing one very surprised (and pajama-clad; can't forget pajama-clad,) Leon Leonhart. Their eyes met and they hurriedly looked away, embarrassed to be caught in a situation like this.

"I was just-"

"I was going to-"

Their voices faltered at the other's words, and they stared at the ground, waiting for one of them to go first and explain themselves. Cloud clenched his fists, his cheeks burning so badly that he swore he was glowing, and cleared his throat.

"I… I missed you." There, he said it. Prepare to be sent back to your room, Cloud.

"I, er… I missed you too."

What?! Cloud looked back at Leon, a blush similar to his own decorating the brunette's face. Leon scratched the back of his head, awkwardly shuffling backwards to open the door a little more. Cloud accepted the silent invitation and stepped inside.

Okay. Step One complete. What was Step Two?

Cloud sat down at one end of the bed, looking outside the window to see the radiant star-filled sky towering above him. He chose to ignore the way the bed dipped as he felt Leon sit down, knowing full well that the brunette was just as confused as he was.

He felt Leon edge cautiously closer to him, the odd, familiar buzz of warmth rushing through his skin even though they weren't touching. His eyelids drooped down over sleepy blue eyes. He yawned, and completely relaxed, letting his head fall into the little crook at Leon's neck.

"Screw it," he muttered abruptly.

Leon cocked his head, surprised by the sudden movement, but glad to feel the cool weight of the body next to him. "Huh?"

"I'm tired. You're tired. And we're both… _uneasy _about this. So I say we figure this out in the morning. I'm going to sleep. Do… you mind?"

Leon shook his head. "If I minded, you wouldn't be here."

"…right."

Cloud scooted himself up to a pillow, slipping beneath the pale blue sheets. Leon followed suit. The Gunblade master bit his lip nervously, carefully inching closer to the blonde but mindful of keeping a good distance. Cloud smiled sadly and pulled himself closer to Leon, resting his head on a warm chest.

"If it's too close, I'll tell you," he whispered, biting back another yawn. He could feel Leon's heartbeat accelerating next to his cheek.

"R-right." He gently put his arms around Cloud and softly kissed his forehead.

"Good night, Cloud."

"Good night, Leon."

* * *

_Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeeep._

"Uuhnnn… shut _up…_" A hand shot out from beneath the blanket and effectively whacked that alarm clock into the next time-space continuum.

"Mmm…. What time is it?"

"Don't know…. I think I killed the clock."

Snort. "Brilliant."

"Shut up."

"C'mon. We need to get up."

"I want to sleep in."

"So do I. But you get up first. If you aren't down there, they'll come looking for you."

"I locked the door."

"And if I'm not down there? Two and two, Leonhart."

"Ugh… fine…I'm up, I'm up…"

Leon (unwillingly) let go of the blonde in his arms and got out of bed, inwardly cursing the daylight into oblivion. Cloud automatically curled into a little ball, groping for another blanket to replace Leon's lost warmth and burying himself in it. His hair was even messier then normal and his eyes were screwed shut to drown out the light that was steadily creeping in through the windows. Leon never really noticed how skinny Cloud was until then, his undershirt and boxers hanging loosely off of him, nearly blending with his pale skin. And the way the morning light struck him, the way he burrowed into the sheets, the sound of his soft breathing… gods, he was beautiful.

Leon shook himself out of his daze and quickly finished getting dressed. Cloud was had fallen asleep again, apparently forgetting his own observations about the others. Leon rolled his eyes, grabbed the sheets with his fist, and yanked.

"Ah!" Cloud cried, jumping from the sudden rush of cold on his skin. He glared at the now smirking Leon, who was calmly slipping his boots on.

"Evil bastard," he muttered, finally getting out of bed and stretching. Leon gave him an awkward one-armed hug, then opened the door.

"Everybody will be up in another half hour. You can do what you want until then."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to make coffee. Want some?"

Cloud shook his head, resting his forehead on Leon's shoulder and inhaling. "I like the smell better then the taste."

Leon smiled, brushing away a stray spike of hair. Cloud looked up at him serenely and Leon simply couldn't resist- he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Cloud's.

It was like fire and ice- Leon's warmth meeting Cloud's freezing skin, but the moment itself felt like ecstasy, sending chills down both men's spines. They never knew that they could feel like _this, _feel like they were truly, deeply _wanted_ and _needed, _feel like they were…_ happy. _All of these emotions they never even realized they had were compressed into that one brief kiss and when they broke apart, they stared at each other in a child-like amazement.

"STUPID ALARM CLOCK!!!!!"

The comfortable silence between them was suddenly shattered with an indignant screech from the room down the hall, along with a solid clunking noise that could only come from said alarm clock having a sudden meeting with plaster and brick.

"Yuffie!!! Don't throw things!!!" squawked an irritated Aerith, from the next room.

"But it wouldn't stop beeping!"

"That's why you _turn it off!!!!_"

"But that means getting out of bed, and it's cold in here!"

"Aw, hell, both o' ya, shut it!" Cid cried his room.

Cloud took that as his cue to go get dressed, and as much as he hated to, he left Leon's arms and walked back to his room. Leon sighed and walked down the stairs, put on a pot of coffee, and waited for the rest of his sleepy team to pull themselves together.

Two and a half cups later, a grumpy Cid, an annoyed Yuffie, an exasperated Aerith, an indifferent Tifa, an apathetic Cloud, and an oddly chipper Merlin walked down the stairs. They greeted Leon with several untranslatable grunts, a few nods, and a bright "Good morning, all!" from Merlin. Leon nodded to all, contentedly sipping his coffee.

Breakfast was pretty much a silent affair as the Restoration Committee members tried to wake themselves up with little success. Leon and Cloud, however, succeeded in ignoring each other. Nobody knew yet, so this was normal. Besides, PDA was like a foreign language to them.

"Aerith?"

"Hmm?" she said, a piece of toast hanging out of her mouth.

"Leon and I need to talk to you."

Both of them were caught off guard by Cloud's request, but Aerith nodded and Leon shrugged it off as nothing terribly big. He had no doubt Cloud would tell her- after all, this _was_ her fault.

Cloud lead them upstairs to his room and shut the door behind them. Aerith yawned, finishing her slice of toast.

"Cloud, Leon, what is this abo- eep!"

She was cut off as Cloud suddenly pulled her into a very tight hug that was as out of character as you could get for him. He let her go just as suddenly as it happened, her mouth open and her pretty emerald eyes wide as dinner plates.

"Thank you."

"F-for what?!" she spluttered.

"For calling my phone and making me come back," Cloud answered simply. He glanced at Leon. "If you hadn't, we wouldn't have gotten together."

Aerith stared at Cloud, and then she swiveled to look at Leon, switching back and forth between them.

"Together…" she whispered in disbelief. "Together, as in, _together _together?"

Both men nodded.

"Together as in boyfriend, boyfriend, together? You're definitely _together?_"

"Yes, Aerith," Cloud said, putting more force into the words. "Leon and I are _together_."

"And… it's all my fault?"

Leon nodded. "Pretty much."

Aerith's open mouth suddenly slid into a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat, and both Leon and Cloud got the sudden feeling that they just did something stupid.

"Hold that thought, boys," she said, dashing out of Cloud's room and down the stairs.

"HA! I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT! PAY UP, CID!" Aerith cried as she dashed over to the pilot.

Leon and Cloud ran out of the room after her, confused.

"What th' hell are you talkin' about, woman?" Cid grunted, pulling out a cigarette.

"I _told _you I could get Leon and Cloud together, I _told _you! Now pay up! You owe me a shopping spree!" she shouted gleefully, already halfway out the door.

"Y-you were making _bets _on us?!" Leon yelled.

Aerith poked her head through the door. "Well, of course, silly! How else do you think I have so much munny? I've been doing this for _years, _and it just paid off big time!"

Cid just sat at the kitchen table, the cigarette on the floor, his head in his hands. "Oh, gods…I'm _doomed…_"

Leon turned to Cloud, who just shook his head. "Well, at least she got us together. I think that's worth a little Cid torture."

As much as he pitied Cid and his wallet, Leon couldn't help but agree.

* * *

**Kind of an abrupt ending, but I couldn't think of any other way to do it. **

**Oh, and I deserve a cookie coughs (and a bunch of reviews) cough for this. I AM CONTINUING THIS STORY!!!! **

**I actually have a plot and everything for this, so expect some more chapters! Yatta, I rock! does the fanfic happy dance**


	5. Moment

**Konichiwa, all! I'm really, really, super-glad that all of you enjoy this little fic so much, it just makes me want to do a victory dance! Which I do and then I break something, so, I'll just settle for smiling like an insane idiot for the rest of the day. **

**Sorry this one took so long to get out, but I had a little bit of that damned Writer's Block. And if it seems a little rushed... well, I wanted to get it finished ASAP, and hey, no complaints for you, right? And for some reason I have a lot of fun writing Aerith as being manipulative...hehe. **

**Warning: This story will now contain a little something called (gasp) PLOT! And I will tell you now, after this chapter, there will be little to no humor. I'm sorry, that's just how it worked out. So if you don't like lots of Cloud/Leon angst, then, I'm sorry. **

**Oh, and I apologize if the scene isn't good enough. You'll know what I mean when you get there, and don't read into that, folks. Seriously. **

**Dedication: To Snickey and Keithlee- EVIL! YOU ABANDONED ME! Ah, I kid, I kid... to Katie, Eryn, Shawna, all the friends I know I've forgotten- thanks for putting up with me. Ichigo- you too. Thanks for everything. And last but not least, to Jumesyn- love ya, darling!**

**And as much as I'd love to, I don't own this.**

* * *

"Can I escape now?" 

"I? I thought 'never leave a man behind' was SOLDIER protocol."

"Fine, smartass. Can _we_ escape now?"

"No."

"Give me a reason not to."

The brunette sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Reason Number One," he said, counting off on his fingers, "is that it means a lot to her. I don't know why, but it does. And really, it's the least we can do, right?"

There was a small second of silence before his companion grunted affirmatively in response.

"And Reason Number Two is that if we refuse, she will make our lives a living hell and she won't get off our backs until we comply."

"...True."

"So I say we just suck it up and get it over with."

"Leon?"

Leon (a.k.a. Don't-you-dare-call-me-Squall-if-you-value-your-pathetic-life Leonhart) turned to look at his blonde companion, who had an apprehensive look on his face.

"If she or any of them start asking for any kind of shonen-ai pose, in any way, shape, or form, I don't care- I'm making a break for it, and I _will _leave you behind if you aren't fast enough to keep up."

Leon smirked. "Well, in that case, I'll be sure to keep up, Cloud."

The blonde smiled, leaning his head on Leon's shoulder, muttering something that sounded like, "You'd better."

Three months. _Three_ _months. _And what a glorious three months it had been. It felt like something out of a dream- but better. Dreams couldn't mimic this kind of happiness, that kind of contentness.

Well, there had been a few odd moments. Like that first morning, when they'd broken the news to Aerith. Cid had refused to talk to either Leon or Cloud for a week after, and subsequently had to keep beating Scrooge McDuck off of Merlin's door, crying that he did _not _need a loan and was _not _going bankrupt. And as soon as Scrooge was gone, Cid curled up into a little ball and whimpered.

Aerith, on the other hand, had treated everyone to a four hour-long fashion show to let them know _exactly_ what she'd bought at the poor old pilot's expense. Even now she wore several more silver bangles then usual, and the bow in her hair was bigger and a brighter, explosive shade of pink. She hadn't stopped beaming at the them, and had baked them ten different kinds of desserts in thank-you's. (She nearly burnt the house down when she made them Cherries Jubilee.)

Yuffie, Tifa, and Merlin seemed pleased, and often gave them smiles and winks. Occasionally, however, they got a bit more...ahem, _suggestive_, and when Leon found a six-pack of Whipped Cream and a pair of fuzzy leapord-print handcuffs waiting on his bed, he nearly popped a vein. Yuffie and Tifa he could understand. But _Merlin? _Who knew the old coot could be so dirty minded- the handcuffs had been his idea.

And it seems that Aerith and Cid weren't the only ones making bets either- Tifa had lost to Yuffie on whether or not Aerith could do it in under six months, and as she handed over her munny to the squealing ninja, Merlin's wizened fingers snatched it away from her.

"Ah, yes, Yuffie. You said she could do it under six months. I said she could do it in a week or less. Am I not correct?"

The ninja had pouted all day.

And of course, Leon and Cloud had hit other snags in the road. As stated previously, they had no idea what to _do_ with each other (although a certain spunky little shinobi had tried to give them a few colorful ideas). They were, quite literally, clueless. They'd had no romantic or sexual experiences in their lives, and now, suddenly, they'd initiated a relationship. Not that they regretted it or anything. But how were they supposed to _know?_ It was a constant inner debate- _Should I move closer? Should I hold his hand? Is a kiss too much? Or not enough? _

At times like this, their poor, over-worked brains gave out, smoke pouring from their ears as logic utterly and totally failed them. They let instinct take over, let no thought control their actions, because they let themselves do what felt good. When Cloud was tired, he would lean into Leon's shoulder, seeking the warmth and the support from his body. And sometimes, Leon would absentmindedly entwine his fingers with Cloud's, the blonde giving his hand a squeeze of reassurance and care. Maybe it was sappy. Maybe they seemed out of character. But damn it, it felt _good._

"Clou-dy! Squall-y! Where are you?!"

Cloud smiled as he heard Leon retort icily, "Damn it, Yuffie, if you call me that _one more _

_time-"_

"You wouldn't hurt your precious little shinobi, now, would you?" Yuffie called, coming in

from a side street.

_"Wanna bet?"_ Leon growled threateningly, tightening his grip on his Gunblade as Cloud

stepped away.

"Oh, quit being melodramatic," she said, though neither man missed her faint shiver. "Besides,

would you rather me call you Squee-on?"

"If you _dare-"_

"What did you want, Yuffie?" Cloud asked, stepping between them. He highly doubted itwould have risen to an actual fight, but he wasn't about to take the chance.

Yuffie grimaced. "Aerith's turned me into a messenger-girl. She wants us all to meet her infront of Merlin's house. Now. And I really can't stress the _now_ part of that message- I swear, that woman's flipped her lid."

Cloud raised a delicately shaped eyebrow. "Flipped her lid?"

The teenage girl nodded. "Yup. She's barking orders left, right, up, down and inside out. It's even driving _Sora _up the wall, and it takes a lot for him to get riled up. If I were you, I'd suggest you hurry up and get over there before she bites your head off."

Cloud nodded. "We'll be there."

Yuffie scampered off, visibly relieved. Leon nodded to Cloud and they both set off after her, wondering exactly how blood-thirsty Aerith was at the moment.

* * *

"Tifa, you stand right there- no, I don't know where your gloves are, you'll just have to do without them. Cid, put that cigarette out _this instant_, or I will sic Scrooge on you like a hound. Good man. You'll be over there. Yuffie, stand up straight- _don't roll your eyes at me_- and you'll be next to Cid. Cloud, Leon- thank goodness, I was beginning to think that you'd both run away- you two will be in the back left, okay? And do me a favor- _smile! _You both remember how to do that, right? Kidding, kidding... now get back there. Tifa, could you move just a little to the right? No, _my _right! Okay, I think we got it- Yuffie, spit out your gum! And Cid, quit chewing on that nasty old stick or whatever it is. Oh, where did Sora go?! Oh, hey, you go right in front of Cid- Donald, Goofy, you'll be next to him. Sora, did you even _try _to brush your hair?" 

Everyone rolled their eyes as Sora squawked that it wasn't _his _fault his hair decided to defy gravity, and what about Cloud, nobody was complaining about _his _hair and it was just as bad. Aerith silenced him with a vicious "don't-question-me-or-else" glare.

"Okay, the camera is set, people, so nobody blink and everybody smile like you mean it!" Aerith chirped happily, setting herself somewhere next to Tifa. Leon's hand found Cloud's and squeezed it gently, making them both smile naturally, even if they really couldn't feel it anymore. Everybody else (except our little oblivious flower-girl, obviously) just imagined Aerith being hit over the head with a giant mallet of doom, and everyone smiled pleasantly.

The camera went off with a blinding flash and as soon as it was safe to move, everyone fell out of their pose. Yuffie slouched and pulled out a stick of gum, Cid lit up a new cigarrette, Sora, Donald and Goofy fell over from the sheer force of the camera light, Tifa resumed the search for her gloves, Aerith zoomed to check out how the picture turned out, and Cloud and Leon just kind of stood there, watching everyone.

"Oh..." Aerith suddenly said, looking at the picture they'd taken. They all froze, ready to either bolt or plead for mercy. Cid risked a gruff "What?"

"It-it's just- I mean- oh, nevermind. It's not really important. Excellent picture, everyone, we got it on the first try!" There were several cries of "Hallelujah!"

_"Now?" _Cloud muttered. Leon nodded. "Where?"

"Crystal Fissure. Let's go."

They quickly backed off the street and into another one while everybody else went to Merlin's house. Aerith watched their retreating backs and grinned.

* * *

"Thank the gods that's finally over with," Cloud said, arching his neck to stretch it. 

"It was just a picture, it's not the end of the world."

"Yeah, but we aren't perfectionists like Aerith."

"Point taken."

"So... what now?"

Leon shrugged. "I dunno. Crystal Fissure is pretty much clear."

"So no Heartless and no Nobodies."

Leon shook his head. "They're still around, we've just cleared most of them out. Don't let your guard down."

"Funny, I was going to tell you the same thing."

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny, Cloud. We're soldiers, we're trained not to let our guard down."

Cloud smirked. "But I've already seen you with your guard down. It's down now."

Leon stopped in his tracks, looking back at the pretty blonde confusedly. "What?"

Cloud closed his eyes and shook his head, grinning. "You're holding my hand now, aren't you?"

And indeed he was, though Leon hadn't conciously noticed. "And you trust me, to a certain degree, I think."

"Cloud-"

"You have to, to some extent, right? Otherwise neither of us would be here." Cloud stepped forward, burying his head into Leon's shoulder.

"It's _so easy, _Leon. It's _so easy _to let my guard down around you," he whispered. "It- it scares me, sometimes."

Leon bowed his head into Cloud's hair, inhaling the scent he found there. "I know. It scares me too." His free hand found Cloud's cheek and he tilted the shorter man's head back slightly. He leaned in close, his warm breath tickling Cloud's face.

_"But it's worth it," _he breathed before pressing their lips together. He could never understand how Cloud's lips were so damn cold, but he reveled in every second of it, knowing that he would never trade anything for this.

He broke away for a second, looking over Cloud's face, just taking in every little detail that he could. Cloud's skin was flushed a pale scarlet, making him look criminally beautiful and alive, contrasting to the sickly blue eyes that were now gazing up curiously at him. He leaned in to kiss him again, letting his mind forget how to think.

"Leon?" Cloud said, brushing his lips teasingly over the other's.

"Yes?"

"I...oh, _shit!"_

Cloud saw it first, his inhuman reflexes kicking in before his brain could understand what he was seeing. He abruptly pulled both himself and Leon backwards, putting all of his energy into geting them as far back as possible. Both men hit the ground hard, Cloud covering Leon protectively.

As soon as they landed a few feet away a mighty claw swiped at the ground where they would have been standing, leaving great gashes in the soil. The owner of that claw, angry to have missed it's targets, roared menacingly.

"W-what the-?! I thought we cleared this section!" Leon cried, standing up and staring open mouthed at the creature before him. It was a Bahamut, a _big_ one, ugly as hell, and pissed off to boot. The Heartless symbol flashed scarlet against its chest, contrasting to the harsh metallic blue shade of the skin, scales and wings.

Cloud drew his buster sword from the holster on his back, staring up at the thing with a critical gaze. "Guess we missed one then, Leonhart."

And Cloud leaped, swinging his sword recklessly at the Bahamut's face, hacking away at whatever he could get his sword to cut. Leon joined him a second later, aiming for the legs: Cloud was the better jumper, he could stay airborne longer.

The Bahamut reared, bringing it's front legs crashing down just inches to the left of where Leon was standing. He jumped up to avoid the impact, landing on the side of the wall of the fissure, and used his momentum to propel himself towards the thing's bony looking knees, slashing it with all of his might. Cloud was busy somewhere up top, around the wings.

The Bahamut shook, going berserk, stomping the ground so fiercely that Leon was forced to move out from beneath it. Cloud was also thrown off, landing gracefully next to the brunette, both men breathing hard. They launched the dual assualt again, only pausing for a hurried _Cure _spell to take away the pain. The Heartless Bahamut was in a full frenzy now, completely controlled by what must have been blood-lust. Deep craters and wicked looking wounds covered the fissure from it's attacks. Leon swiped at whatever weak spot he could find, firing off his Gunblade or a _Firaga_ spell for added damage. It didn't help much. Cloud wasn't having much luck either, it seemed, and Leon cursed fluently as the dragon nearly bit off his head. He swiped at its neck but was rewarded with the sound of metal on impenatrable scales.

"Leon! Get off the ground!"

The brunette complied quickly, leaping up and into a crack in the wall to watch Cloud. The ex-SOLDIER had jumped behind the Bahamut, and with a cry swung his sword into the earth. A beam of energy shot out from the end of the blade and crashed into the crazed dragon, rebounding off the walls of the fissure and causing it even more damage. Leon shot out a quick _Firaga _spell and dropped down to the ground, attacking the nearest piece of the Bahamut he could. The energy waves had dissipated, and both men resumed the battle. The end was near, they could sense it- the monster was getting slower and clumsier, missing it's attacks more often. It bled profusely from the countless large wounds covering it's body. Leon and Cloud were tired too, but they refused to let it show, and they attacked more furiously then ever.

Then, the Bahamut gave out a strangled cry, and collapsed onto the ground. It's wings twitched pathetically as the dragon tried to get up again and failed. It twisted and jerked wildly, shrieking and growling at its killers.Cloud went up to it and slashed away at the head for good measure, and finally the Heartless fell quiet.

The blonde wiped away some of the sweat clinging to his forehead, offering the brunette a tiny smile as he slipped his buster sword into the holster, already turning his back and walking up the pathway past the SeeD. "I think that'll do, Leonhart."

Leon smirked back at the younger man, about to join him, when something made him stop. A gasping, rattling breath had been drawn, but Cloud hadn't heard it. He whipped around to look at the Bahamut, his fear confirmed- _it wasn't dead yet_, it's head was raised, and it was gathering energy into an orb in front of his face. Mega-Flare: the Bahamut's most powerful and deadly attack. It apparently wanted to either go out in a blaze of glory or eliminate the ones who killed it, and even in its near-death state it was fully capable of both. A full-grow Bahamut like this could wipe out at least half of Radiant Garden in one blast. This one was near-death, but it didn't matter- there was still enough power in it to obliterate someone.

And it was aiming straight for Cloud.

Leon bolted before he could tell himself to run, and he collided with Cloud the second Mega-Flare was unleashed. He shoved the blonde behind a pile of rock debris left over from the battle, using whatever he could think of to shield them. The Bahamut missed, but the blast was still enough to send them both flying into the wall, slamming their bodies harshly into solid rock. Rocks and dirt flew all around them, the creature's death roar echoing in the air. The attack was twenty times less then what it could have been, and with one last gasp the Heartless faded into shadow.

Cloud coughed, dirt and dust filling his lungs, uncomfortable by the weight of the rocks covering his legs. He winced as they bit through the skin, but as far as he could tell it wasn't anything serious. Leon was partially ontop of him, the brunette's arm gripping his waist. Cloud shifted out from beneath the two weights, feeling the warmth of his own blood dripping across his skin, and sat up, wincing.

"Well. That was fun." he joked, wiping away some of the blood on his arm. Cloud turned to look at Leon- and, in that one instant, everything changed. His blood turned to ice in his veins while some cold, terrible, nameless fear gripped him and refused to let go.

"Leon?" he whispered. His eyes were sliding in and out of focus, trying to shield him from the images they were seeing.

Leon's face was covered in crimson, his hair matted and drenched in blood as he lay in the midst of the debris next to him. The side of his head was bleeding heavily, along with dozens of other cuts, and Cloud could see a deep gash on his hip that made him forget to breathe. The Gunblade was in his hand, snapped in half, with his wrist lying at an unnatural angle, surely broken.

He was too _still, _too _quiet. _It wasn't right. Nobody could be that still, that silent. Unless... no... _no..._

_"LEON!!!!!!!"_

* * *

**Mwahaha, I'm horrible, aren't I?**


	6. Aftermath

**Konichiwa, all! Here is the highly anticipated Chapter 6! Yatta! **

**I had quite a few distractions with this chap, but I feel proud of myself. And I actually did research on this, yup yup. Just little stuff. Oh, and in my world, a **_**Curaga **_**spell and an Elixir will not fix all of your boo-boos. So there. I was considering upping the rating on this to an "M" for language later on… but I don't think I will. I'll ponder it later. **

'**Kay, originally this chapter was going to be longer (as in, a LOT longer) but I think it might be better for my sanity and personal health to post it like this (I know several people who will be after my blood if I don't update soon). And who is going to argue with a faster update? **

**I can't believe all the support I've gotten for this story, and I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I will continue to do my best on the next few chapters!**

**Dedication: to Snickey and Keithlee- I don't deserve either of you. I love you anyway though! To Katie, Eryn, Shawna, to all the others I know I've forgotten- thank you so so much. To Ichigo- I miss you. Don't read this, you think I'm crazy enough. To Kaiba- I miss you/turns around/ Transmute me! And last but certainly never least, to Jumesyn- darlin', you brighten my day. Love ya!**

* * *

Hospitals are not heaven, though many people would at least consider it a gateway to it. So many crossings from life to death in those crowded, antiseptic smelling hallways, so many cries of joy and pain unable to be contained in the poorly decorated walls. No matter how they may try, a hospital is a place of fear. No one can deny that.

So who does a hospital scare more- the patient, or the visitor?

Aerith sipped her tea quietly, hands shaking, as she looked at the figure in the bed next to her. His head was wrapped in bandages that covered part of one eye, while a cast adorned his wrist. There were more bandages, more wounds, all covered by the hospital sheets. An IV was hooked into one arm, and the incessant beeping of the infernal machines in the room was driving her crazy. She wished they would shut up- and then instantly cursed herself for it. Her thoughts were all jumbled together, prayers crossing her mind every few seconds. Aerith wanted to take his hand, but if she did, it would be like admitting that all of this was real, and she felt like a little bit of delusion might do her some good.

"W-will he be okay, Aerith?" Yuffie whispered, her face red and puffy from crying.

The flower girl took another sip of the bland hospital tea. "I really don't know, Yuffie. His wrist and all the other injuries should heal fine, but the wound to his head…" She faltered.

"What about his head wound?" Tifa asked, staring out the window at the slowly, appropriately darkening sky.

Aerith gulped. "The doctor said that he's in a coma. And- and there's no way of knowing… _when _he'll wake up." _Don't say 'if', Aerith. He'll wake up. He _will. "It could be in a few days. It could be in a few years."

Yuffie sniffled. Sora handed her another tissue, while Goofy and Donald sat forlornly next to the young shinobi, awkwardly patting her arm. Tifa continued to stare out the window, squeezing the life out of her newly found gloves. Had she only been looking for them a mere three hours before?

Cid was puffing on a cigarette, his seventh since the brunette had been admitted, and showed no signs of slowing down. He played with his lighter, flicking it on and off, watching the flames, when he suddenly burst out, "WHERE TH' _**HELL **_IS CLOUD?!"

Everyone jumped, startled.

"I wanna know where that _bastard _is, why he ain't 'ere wit' _us, _wit' _him!!!_" Cid cried, pointing to the quiet patient in the bed. "He should be here, but _no, _he ain't, he went and fucking _abandoned him-"_

"That's enough, Cid!" Tifa yelled from the window.

"Hell no, it's not! Cloud should be here wit' him, and I don't see a damn blonde spike anywhere! That coward, that piece o' shit, that piece o' _flirtin' trash- _urk!!!"

"_I said that's enough, Cid," _Tifa growled, having grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Gently, of course- she didn't actually want to hurt him, even though the option sounded very appealing at the moment.

"Tifa, put him down!" Aerith cried.

"Apologize first," the martial arts expert snarled, tightening her fingers ever so slightly. Cid glared at her, shaking his head.

"Tifa, don't you dare tell me that you ain't a lil' pissed at Cloud not bein' here!" he choked out.

"Well, don't you dare think that you know what the hell is going through his head right now!" she shouted, dropping him. He landed in an uneven pile on the floor, rubbing his neck, already feeling the bruises her fingers had left.

"Don't you get it? He blames himself, that's why he isn't here with us. Cloud is trying to protect Leon from himself. Or maybe he's trying to punish himself for not being able to prevent this," Tifa explained to the slightly wheezing pilot, giving him the most spectacular glare she could manage.

"So, wha', Cloud thinks if he comes near Leon, he'll _die?_" Cid asked bluntly.

There it was. The forbidden word that they only dared to whisper in their minds, suddenly thrown out into their faces.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Yuffie shrieked, jumping up from her seat, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. "HE WON'T, HE WON'T, HE WON'T! HE CAN'T! SO JUST SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOU OLD CRANKY GEEZER!!!"

"Yuffie..." Aerith said softly, walking over and placing a calming hand on the weeping girl's arm. The ninja dissolved into squeaky, high-pitched sobs, burying her face in the older girl's shoulder.

"He-he _won't, _Aerith, he-he, he j-just _can't…_ _he can't…_can he, Aerith?" she whispered, hiccupping.

Aerith rubbed the girl's back comfortingly, answering the only way she could.

"I don't know."

* * *

In a dark alley off of Main Street, a shadow crept along the side of the wall, searching for its prey. It left the wall, going to the cobblestones. The thing rose, it's antennae twitching and jerking unnaturally, as it sought out what it wanted. A Heart. Surely there was one nearby?

The Neo Shadow glided over the alley, searching, listening, sniffing.

_Ba-bump, ba-bump. _A Heart! But where could it…?

The Heartless never saw, heard, or smelled it coming- the blade had already severed it's head from it's body before it even knew something was wrong. It dissipated into shadow, leaving not a single trace behind of its existence.

The young man gripped his sword tightly, his breath fast, sweat dripping from his forehead. One down: an infinite number to go.

Another one sprang up and he swung, killing it before it had even opened its beady yellow eyes. He grimaced, his legs burning from the numerous cuts he had, but he didn't bother to slow down. He walked down the next street, ever on the look out, patrolling like he never had before, all the while cursing his worthless existence.

Three hours. Had it only been three hours? How could it have been such a short time?

The sun was still shining, the birds were still singing, the children were still playing. Traitors. All of them. How dare they continue on when everything was lost!

And how dare he for forgetting his place. For forgetting that it could never work, for forgetting why he'd left in the first place. He had no right to even think that maybe, just _maybe…_ happiness could be his.

In his frustration he lashed out, punching the side of another alley with his fist. The pain of his fingers against the brick felt righteous. How could he be so _stupid, _so _careless_?! And now Leon-

_No. You have no right. _His own voice sounded twisted and sick inside his head, reminding him more of Sephiroth then himself. Wasn't that appropriate?

A Dusk slithered onto the street in front of him and by reflex he slashed at it. The Nobody twisted around and struck him in the shoulder, drawing fresh blood. He didn't even flinch, and seeing an opening, killed the thing.

He leaned against the wall of the alley, panting, warm blood trickling from the various cuts on his body. He'd lost a fair amount of the crimson liquid in the past three hours. It showed, too- he was getting careless, his sword work no longer precise but sloppy.

He didn't care. He _wanted_ to bleed. He _wanted _the pain.

_Isn't that what I deserve?_

"_On your knees. I want you to __**beg **__for forgiveness." _

No. He could not- would not- beg for anything, because he deserved this. All of it. Every last drop of pain he felt was his. Forgiveness would be wasted on him.

Cloud stood, grimacing as salt sweat dripped into his cuts, and continued on with the patrol. And if a passerby had decided to take note of him, they would have seen how tightly he gripped his sword, how tensely he held his body, how his blonde spikes seemed to wither and droop, how those glittering blue eyes seemed to be fading to lifelessness. And if they had really paid attention, they would have noted that it seemed he was holding back tears.

* * *

"Gawrsh, I sure 'ope Leon'll be okay!" Goofy said, his face bobbing up and down behind his shield.

"Me too," Donald quacked.

"Me three," Sora said, his hands laced behind his head. "Now, if I were Cloud, where would I be?"

After Cid's outburst in the hospital room, Aerith had quietly pulled them aside and asked them to search for Cloud. Sora could tell that she wanted to go with them, but she thought it would be best to stay in case of another fight. Tensions were high, who could blame the others for cracking a little?

They had initially lost track of the blonde after Leon had been taken to the ER. He'd followed them from Crystal Fissure to the hospital, trailing behind, bleeding and looking like he would fall apart at any second. He'd refused any kind of medical assistance they or the doctors offered. Leon was admitted to the ER and they had been forced to sit in a waiting room, with Cloud pacing and refusing to rest for even a second. The doctors had considered sedating him so he could be treated, but one glare- _one glare- _and the hardened hospital veterans ran away like frightened children. While he was occupied with scaring the staff, Aerith was able to whisper a quick _"Curaga" _to at least clean up some of the larger cuts. That earned her the scariest look she'd ever received in her life. He said nothing the whole while, ignoring their questions and disregarding their attempts to comfort him. Cloud wouldn't look at them, wouldn't touch them, and he wouldn't stop moving. Even when Yuffie had exploded and cast _"Stopra" _on him, they could all see that urge for movement behind the cold blue eyes. And when the spell wore off, the ninja pushed him into a chair and forcibly crawled into his bloody lap, using herself as a weight so he couldn't pace.

Of course, Cloud being a mako-enhanced, buster sword wielding warrior, and Yuffie being a bony, skinny, rather pipsqueak-ish seventeen-year-old Wutian shinobi girl, Cloud just picked her up, and paced while holding her. Cid and Aerith pulled Yuffie away from him, worried about his injuries, while Sora, Donald and Goofy were able to gently convince him to sit down.

Even then, he still tapped his foot.

Some time later when a nurse came and told them he had been taken to a room upstairs, there was a collective sigh of relief- and then suddenly, Cloud had vanished, without a trace. No one had seen him since.

Donald and Goofy thought about it, faces screwed up in concentration, pretending to be Cloud, and then simultaneously shrugged.

Sora sighed. "I don't know either, guys. We already checked the Bailey and Merlin's house. He wasn't over at Tron's place and he wasn't at Crystal Fissure. We can't check every street one by one, that would take hours!"

"An' it looks like it'll rain soon!" Goofy said, looking up. Sora looked up too, face suddenly fearful. Despite the whole saving-the-world thing, he still had a fear of thunder and lightning. Thunder spells he didn't mind, because he could control that, but nobody can control a storm.

"L-let's find him quickly then," Sora said, already heading down the next street. Donald and Goofy followed. They searched the surrounding area for another ten minutes before they came to the south district, and as Sora was about to turn a corner, something zoomed into his face and knocked him over.

"Uff!" he cried as he promptly landed on his backside, Donald's laughter decorating the background.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Sora, I didn't see you!" came a petite voice somewhere above him. He opened his eyes and blinked once or twice.

"Yuna? Rikku, Paine?" he asked, surprised to see the pixie trio in hovering above him. They nodded, all three girls giving him smiles.

"We can't stay and chat, boys: we've got to find Leon," Paine said, shooting off past Sora's shoulder. "It's important."

"Ya mean ya haven't heard about Leon yet?" Goofy asked.

Rikku flipped over upside down. "What about Leon? Has he finally got some treasure for us?"

"Er, no. Listen, Gullwings, Leon's just been in an accident. He's up at the hospital right now," Sora explained grimly. "He's unconscious, and they don't when he'll wake up either."

All three pixies simultaneously gasped. "Oh no!" "That's horrible!" "It can't be…"

"What didja need Leon for, anyway? Maybe we can help you out," Goofy said.

Yuna nodded. "I hope so. It's about that blonde man he's always with- that's his boyfriend, right? I can never remember his name…"

"_Cloud?!" _

"Yup, that's it!" Rikku said, doing a little dance in the air. "It's about ol' Chocobo Head!"

"Stop calling him that," Paine scolded.

"But, Paine! Doesn't he look like a chocobo from behind? You can't deny the resemblance!"

Sora stepped forward. "Gullwings! Enough about chocobos! What about Cloud? Where did you see him?"

Paine jerked her silver head back. "Up around Moomba Street. The guy was covered in blood, killing Heartless and Nobodies left and right. We offered to help him out- at least give him a potion- but all he did was glare at us and walk away. We followed him for a little bit, and he finally turned around and told us flat-out to leave him alone and stop trying to help him."

"He had this really scary look on his face when he said it too," Rikku added, looking fearful. "He looked…I dunno, _dead_, for lack of a better word. I mean, the look on his face…"

"It just broke your heart to look at him," Yuna interjected softly.

Sora gripped the Keyblade tightly, new resolve to find the blonde welling up inside him. "We'll find Cloud. We'll help him. You can count on us, Gullwings!"

"We know, Sora. We're going to go visit Leon now. Good luck!" Yuna cried, zooming off.

"Hurry!" Paine and Rikku called out as they flew to catch up.

* * *

Despite Sora's words, the trio _didn't _find Cloud, and another three and a half hours later they stumbled back into the hospital room, tired and wet from the storm Goofy had predicted.

Cloud had watched them enter some five minutes ago from his hiding spot in a nearby side street. He'd cloaked himself in the shadows, not daring to go any closer to the brightly lit hospital then this. The rain fell all around him, soaking him to the skin, drenching him until he looked like he'd been drowned. The weight of the sword strapped to his back grew with each passing second: the fatigue from patrolling, coupled with the amount of blood he'd lost, wasn't helping. He wasn't even entirely sure how he could stand.

He'd been able to go through Hollow Bastion almost twice, slaying whatever monster he could find. He went through every location as thoroughly as he could- except the hospital. He'd avoided getting too close to it, until now. Cloud just felt the inexplicable urge to come there, and as he stood there staring at the terrifying building, he wanted to scream. He looked up at the sky, remembering the storm that they had walked through together, and he felt his heart being ripped to shreds.

_It's my fault. All of it. I_ told _him, I_ told _him, that I would hurt him. Gods, Leon, why didn't you listen to me? Why didn't_ I _listen to _myself? 

"_**But it's worth it."**_

Cloud shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere. "No, Leon. It will _never_ be worth _this,_" he whispered.

He turned on his heel and walked away. The Heartless and the Nobodies would not rest- why should he?

And so he disappeared, the bleakest of shadows in the darkest of nights.

**

* * *

**

**Reviewers get my everlasting love and cookies! And whoever catches the "Affection" reference... I dunno, I'll think of something. Until then, you get extra cookies and a glomp from Demyx! Go Demy! **


	7. Lurking In The Darkness

**Hallo, everybody! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update- in the words of my friend Keithlee, high school's a bitch. A vicious, life-sucking bitch. Grrrr….**

**This chapter was supposed to be longer. But I felt so bad for not updating, that I cut it in half….just like the other one. Forgive me!!!! **

**Dedicated to: Snickey, Sasha, Eryn, Shawna, Katie- you guys have literally saved my life these past few weeks. Thank you so, so much. Karena- I MISS YOU!!!! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss that unbelievably dirty mind of yours. **

**And last but certainly not least, to my darling Jumesyn- gods, I missed talking to you!!!! You'll be getting a PM shortly, love! And no, you aren't too late to propose to me (six other people have….why not add a seventh? And you'll be the first one who's male too! I'll tell you about it later….)

* * *

**

"I don't _believe _this," she muttered, pulling her vest closer to her.

"Ya think I like this, squirt?"

"If _we_ had to go home, _they_ should have come too!" Yuffie said angrily, kicking at a stone in the street. Cid watched it fly into a side street.

"I mean, Tifa's the violent one! Why didn't Aerith send _her _home?!" the aggrieved ninja cried.

Cid calmly lit up another cigarette. "Simple. We're th' ones most likely to cause trouble."

"How do you figure that?!"

The pilot blew out slowly, flicking his lighter on and off. "Well, number one, I'm pissed at Cloud. If I'd said another word against 'im, Tifa woulda snapped me like a friggin' twig. Number two, outta all of us, yer the most likely to do somethin' reckless-"

"_Excuse me?!?!?!" _the ninja shrieked.

"Keep it down, yer gonna wake up th' whole damn neighborhood!" Cid growled, cuffing her on the back the head. "Ya jes' proved my point, Yuffie. We're all… I dunno, affected by this. We all care. But we still got control. You don't. Besides, ya look pretty damn tired from all that cryin'."

"…Shut up, geezer."

Cid took another drag from his cigarette. "Insult me all ya like, Yuffie. We could all use some rest. Think of us as bein' th' firs' shift."

Yuffie stomped her foot on the pavement. "Quit trying to make me feel better, 'cuz it's not working!"

"Suit yerself. Sulk all ya want. But that's not really gonna help Leon, now, is it?"

Yuffie stopped dead in her tracks, nearly making him run into her. And then she bolted down the street like greased lightning.

Cid scratched the back of his head and continued walking. "Keep fergettin' how damn fast she is," he muttered. Merlin's house was only five minutes away. At Yuffie's speed, she'd probably make it there in a minute and a half, probably less. Maybe it paid to have a constant sugar rush.

Cid blew a perfect smoke ring into the air and watched it dissipate. Stars were scattered in the sky above him, and he couldn't help but be a little cheered up. Funny how when a crisis hits, some things never change.

"Cid!!! Help me!!!!"

Yuffie's frightened voice broke the calm night, and the gruff man took off running, pulling out his spear. How the hell could that girl have gotten into trouble so fast? Then again, it was the "Great Ninja Yuffie" he was with, which was excuse enough for most trouble.

He reached the right street with Yuffie-like speed. Dodging a stray cat, he ran into the back alley behind Merlin's house, his spear ready in his hands.

Yuffie was kneeling on the ground by the back door. She tilted her head slightly as she heard him approach. "Over here."

Her voice was soft, sad. Obviously not being attacked, Cid put away the spear and walked over to the teenager, pissed at being called when he clearly wasn't needed. What he saw made him stop in his tracks.

_Cloud…God damn, kid._

Cloud was lying in the corner of the alley amongst the trashcans. His skin, clothes and hair were dyed bright scarlet. Blood was everywhere. His buster sword was gripped loosely in his hand. Yuffie had propped his head up so that he rested on her knees. His eyes were closed.

"Wh-what th' hell?" Cid whispered, crouching down next to Yuffie. Fresh tears ran down her face, falling gently on Cloud's blood-streaked skin.

"He's still breathing," she said. "He's lost a lot of blood."

The anger Cid had felt towards Cloud hours before had disappeared, and new emotions were rising up into his throat. Fear, sadness- most of all, pity. He nodded and gently picked up the ex-SOLDIER, unable to avoid touching the cuts on his body. Yuffie unlocked the door and they hurried inside.

"Upstairs?" he asked. The blonde weighed practically nothing. Cid felt like he was holding a ragdoll.

"Uh-uh. It'll be easier down here," Yuffie said, pulling out fresh sheets from a cupboard. She threw them over the couch and Cid laid him down, mindful of his head. The sword lay forgotten outside- neither was quite strong enough to carry it inside without hurting themselves in the process.

"Got a spare elixir 'round 'ere somewhere," Cid said, pulling out random bottles from the cabinets. Yuffie was busy gathering bandages, somehow finding a big bottle of peroxide and gauze in a manner of seconds. It paid to be a slightly kleptomaniac ninja- fast fingers.

"Found it!" Cid cried triumphantly, taking a green bottle off a shelf. He went back into the living room, propped Cloud's head up, and gently tipped the elixir into his mouth. Some of it dribbled down the side of his mouth as he managed to choke it down. The cuts began to clear up instantly, but they didn't fully heal. Yuffie appeared a moment later, swabbing the wounds with peroxide and applying the bandages. Cid helped. It took awhile, but they bandaged him the best they could. Cloud stayed unconscious the whole while.

"Should we take him to the hospital? He might need a transfusion," Yuffie asked, folding up Cloud's all-but shredded shirt.

Cid shrugged. "Dunno. Another elixir should take care of 'im. Here," he said, handing her a second bottle. "If it don't, we'll take 'im to the hospital pronto."

"How do we know if it'll work?"

Another shrug. "Use 'Scan' on 'im? I'm gonna call Aerith, tell 'er we got 'im."

"Okay. Tell Sora and the others too."

"Got it."

Aerith picked up on the fifth ring. She sounded like she'd been asleep. "Yes, what is it, Cid?"

"Good news. We found Cloud."

Her voice radiated relief. "You did?! Oh, thank goodness! Where was he?! How is he?!"

"Keep yer shirt on! Yuffie found 'im in th' back alley behind Merlin's place. He was worse off then when he left th' hospital. Poor bastard was covered in blood. Only now got done cleanin' 'im up. If he needs a transfusion, we'll take him in the mornin'. Any change?"

A crestfallen sigh. "No. Nothing. Sora, Donald and Goofy left to sleep in the gummi ship. Tifa's pacing up and down the hallway. I guess I nodded off when you called. Can I talk to Cloud?"

"He's unconscious."

"Oh. Well, take good care of him until morning, then. Tifa and I will switch with you."

"Got it."

"How's Yuffie holding up?"

"Better, I guess. She's tougher'n she looks, Aerith. She'll pull through."

"We all will…I hope."

* * *

_Darkness was everywhere. Nothing seemed to be solid in the pitch-black abyss. The solidity of the darkness was terrifying- it was crushing him, driving every ounce of air out of his lungs. _

_Breathe, breathe. In, out. _

_Breathe in the darkness. Breathe out the light. _

_No, no, that wasn't right! But Cloud could feel the shadows sliding through his veins, pushing out whatever light was in his heart and filling him to the brim with the nightmare powers he feared. _

_Splash! _

_He started as his foot slipped into a pool of water that suddenly wasn't there before. Welcoming the abrupt change, he strode forward until he was waist deep in it. It was comfortably lukewarm, oddly soothing, but at the same time, Cloud's heart skipped a beat as he ran his hand across the surface. _

_It didn't really feel like water, whatever it was. And water didn't have a smell, either- this was bitter, sort of metallic. It left a terrible, yet damnably familiar taste on his lips. _

_Something bumped into his arm, and he jumped, splashing more of the liquid on himself. Another object hit him from the other side, then a third, and finally a fourth knocked into him from the front. They hit him very gently, smoothly floating along the surface. _

"_**Promise you'll protect me?"**_

_Aerith? What was she doing in this place?_

**"_If you ever get really famous, and I'm ever in a bind… you'll come and save me. Promise?"_**

_Tifa? _

"_**We're friends, right?"**_

_Zack?_

**"_It'll hurt me more if you leave."_**

_Leon…_

_Light was suddenly everywhere, spilling from an unseen source, and Cloud was blinded. He yelped, shielding his mako-blue eyes, cursing the brightness. When he deemed it safe enough to look, he removed his hands and opened his eyes. _

_And immediately wished he hadn't. _

_Because now he could clearly see the river of vivid crimson blood he was standing in. Now, in the brilliance of the light, he could see the bodies of Aerith, Tifa, Zack, and Leon floating next to him. Their eyes were open, faded and lifeless, staring up at him as if daring him to scream. _

_And scream he did, scream and shriek, because suddenly _their_ voices were in his head, screeching that it was _his _fault that they were dead. The corpses' hands were clawing at him, dragging him down underneath the pool of their blood, scratching him as they screamed their wishes for his death. He screamed with them, praying for death, praying for the end to come quickly…_

_And as the blood flowed into his mouth and enclosed over his head, he heard Sephiroth's voice added to the screams. _

**"_I guess I didn't have to take away all that's precious to you, Cloud. You did it yourself."_**

_It's all my fault…_

Kill me. Please.

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**Yes, I am a terrible, terrible person. Tell me all about it. How, you ask? Why, with that lovely purple button down there, of course! Just click, and within minutes, you'll have sent me a review saying how much you hate my guts! **


	8. Foolish

**Hi everybody! Okay, okay, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! I know it's been like a year already, but I had some serious WB issues and a lot of other shit to sort through. **

**Again, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but I didn't know where to pick it up from so I decided to chop it. I thought I knew where this story was going, but then I changed the plot fifty gazillion times, so even I'm not really sure what's going to happen next. But thank you guys all so much from the bottom of my heart for your support! You have no idea what it means to me!**

**Oh, and as for Tifa's theories… they made sense to me. And yes, I did repeat one section, but it was for dramatic effect. Hopefully it works. And as for Aerith's weapon- I couldn't remember what her Ultimate Weapon was. I tried to look it up but that gave me nothing. So if I'm wrong- tough.**

**Dedicated to (in no particular order): Snickey, Shawna, Zexion, Sasha- thanks for putting up with me while I was being a whiney emo-bitch, and thanks for letting me bounce ideas off you guys. To Jumesyn- I missed you so much! I am utterly undeserving of your kind, beautiful words! And to everyone who's faved and watched and left reviews- you guys are the best! Love ya!**

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Cloud awoke from his hellish vision with a sudden start, just when the chorus of screams had reached its climax. A noise from the world of the awake had startled him out of it. Wait- who was still shrieking?

Cloud abruptly clamped a hand over his mouth, effectively suffocating the scream that was escaping his lips. He tried to remember how to breathe past his fingers, closing his eyes and fighting to get his heartbeat down to a steady speed. Something akin to adrenaline was speeding through him, making him feel dizzy and almost twitchy. His head ached. He reached up with his other hand to cradle his head, only to have his fingers suddenly meet a heavy gauze bandage that definitely wasn't there before he slept.

The blonde attempted to sit up, only to have something tight constricting his movement. He struggled for a moment until he managed it, confused as to why it was suddenly so hard to do something that was practically second nature. The bright sunlight streaming through the window wasn't helping his foggy brain to work.

At least the room was familiar. It was Merlin's living room- the musty, dusty scent of old books made it obvious. A small mountain of blankets and sheets were heaped up on top of him, and Cloud shoved them unceremoniously onto the floor. Looking down, he understood his difficulty sitting up- his chest and abdomen had been completely wrapped up in bandages, just like his head.

Somewhere deep in his mind, Cloud knew he probably shouldn't be moving around so quickly. But his head hurt, and there was no aspirin on the little table in front of the couch. Moving like a snail, he stood up, feeling… okay. Aside from his head he didn't hurt at all. Through his sleepiness he realized that was strange. However, all of his thoughts were currently concentrated on aspirin.

Walking was much easier then he anticipated, but it certainly was slower. Cloud could feel small bandages flexing and pulling around his legs, so he tried not to move too quickly, lest he should tear them open. Whoever fixed him up had obviously tried their best.

At last, he was able to shuffle his way into the bathroom, and after digging through the cabinets, he found a bottle of tiny white pills and swallowed two without bothering for water. He knew it was a bad idea to look in the mirror, but as he put the bottle away, Cloud caught a glimpse of his reflection.

The person staring back at him was barely recognizable. His mako-enhanced eyes were dull and sickly, their eerie glow muted. Ashen skin, whiter and paler than normal, made him look like some sort of phantom from a ghost story. Even his hair seemed sick, drooping low over his eyes and resembling nothing but limp straw.

Cloud swallowed, his adrenaline rush fading away. He looked scary, and what's more, he_ felt _scared. The events of the past day and half were streaming through his head, memories that had been kept away by his earlier grogginess.

_The stark whiteness of a cold hospital waiting room…_

_His friend's questioning, pleading looks…_

_The smell of blood and rain on Hollow Bastion's streets…_

_And one small, misplaced sentiment, that just _couldn't _be true…_

"_**But it's worth it."**_

Cloud's knees suddenly buckled for no apparent reason, and he reached out to grab the counter, gripping the sides to support himself. A wave of dizziness and nausea hit him, but more importantly, _pain_ hit him from all sides, sneaking in and ripping through his veins like a fire. He winced, the sudden pain tempting him to cry out. A bead of sweat slipped down the side of his face as he allowed himself to sit down on the side of the bathtub, trying to focus on the hurt and nothing else. No memories. No thoughts. Just pain.

He deserved this. Every ounce of it. He _told _Leon, he _warned _him, that he would only end up hurting him. And he'd proved himself correct, hadn't he? _He hurt Leon._ Cloud cursed himself into the farthest reaches of hell, self-loathing and guilt clawing at the remaining shreds of heart he possessed.

The phantom Sephiroth's words were still fresh in his mind, and he knew without a doubt that there was truth in them.

"_**I guess I didn't have to take away all that's precious to you, Cloud. You did it yourself." **_

"You're right," the pale blonde whispered, lowering his head in weary defeat. "You're right…"

_SLAM!_

Cloud jumped at the sudden noise invading Merlin's quiet home. The banging sound was accompanied by a quiet 'eep' and the swooshing sound of a large gust of wind. Just as swiftly as the clatter came, it disappeared, the silence once again taking back its throne.

"Phew! I can't believe how badly the wind is blowing today. I hope we didn't wake him up."

"With injuries like that, he'll probably be out for a little while longer. You'd be surprised how heavily he can sleep."

"Tifa, what are we going to do when he wakes up? Do you think he'll want to see Leon?"

"It's hard to say, but in the end, it's up to him."

"But I don't understand! Why _wouldn't _Cloud want to see him? It doesn't make sense to me- Leon's hurt, and Cloud just runs off! I mean, if you really pay attention, you can tell- they would _die _for each other. Why would he just abandon him like that?"

"I don't think 'abandon' is the right word, Aerith."

"Then what is?"

"I don't know. But I don't really think that Cloud purposely abandoned Leon. I think he left the hospital more out of fear than anything else. That, and panic. Maybe even duty too."

"Duty?!"

"Well, think about it. Haven't you ever heard about rape victims cleaning up the crime scene and themselves, to try and find a sense of normalcy? It's the same basic concept. Something traumatic happened that he couldn't handle, so he went back to town and patrolled. That's normal for him."

"Okay, that's one theory. But how do you get 'duty' out of that behavior?"

"When we heard about Leon, every single one of the Restoration Committee left for the hospital, even Sora. That means the town was vulnerable. The defense system works beautifully, but we still need people out on the streets. Maybe he thought that's what Leon would want, for someone to go back and patrol so nobody would get hurt from lack of protection."

"… That makes sense too, I guess. But that seems rather cold. Do you really think that's what he was thinking?"

"I dunno. Those are just my theories. We can ask him ourselves when he wakes up. I'll go check on him."

Cloud could hear Tifa stepping lightly towards the living room. Knowing that it would be inevitable, he stood up and stepped out of the bathroom just as the martial artist walked into the room. She gasped in obvious surprise when she saw him.

"I'm glad to see that you're awake, but you shouldn't be up yet! You could reopen something!" she scolded with a weary smile. Aerith peeked her head around the corner and nodded in agreement.

Cloud ignored them, opting to take slow strides towards the stairs.

"And where do you think _you're _going?!" Tifa exclaimed, running over to the steps. "Go back and rest!"

Cloud disregarded her completely, taking each step as quickly as the bandages allowed. The irritation suddenly flooding his head made it more difficult to concentrate. He understood that he was being stupid. He understood that he was making yet another mistake. He just didn't give a damn.

"Do you think you're the only one who cares about Leon?!"

Aerith's remark stung painfully, just as it was meant to. His chest tightened and his throat dried up, making swallowing an impossibility. But he refused to turn around and took another step up.

"He wouldn't want to see you in pain like this!" she cried.

Cloud paused, turning his head to the side. "He can't see much of _anything_ right now, and whose fault do you think that is, Aerith? _Mine_," he retorted angrily.

"Don't blame yourself for something you had no control over!"

"Don't give me that 'no control' crap. I could have-"

"What? You could have _what, _Cloud? Taken his place? For gods' sakes, you _both_ could have ended up _dead_!"

"I _should_ be dead, damn it!" Cloud shouted, turning around to face her. "_I _should be the one in that hospital bed, not him!" Blood was rushing to his head and anger-fueled adrenaline filled his veins like a drug. He wanted so badly to hit something, anything, to be struck in return to pay for his sins. He started up the steps again, the adrenaline making him forget the pain and move faster. He was able to reach his room unhindered- he refused to look down the hallway at Leon's. Cloud grabbed the first set of fresh clothes he could find and dressed as quickly as he could.

"Did you really mean that?"

Cloud paused as he pulled on a sock. Tifa's plaintive voice tore open a fresh wound in his heart. He finished his task and stood up straight, still ignoring her.

"_Answer me, _Cloud." The faintest tremor ran through her enraged voice. The swordsman stayed still and silent, unable to form a competent reply. There were too many words in his head, too many thoughts and emotions that he would never be able to relay to her. And to say that he hadn't meant it, to say what she wanted to hear… well, that would be lying.

He stood and turned to her, and the pure sorrow in his mako-tainted eyes told her everything.

"He… pushed me… out of the way," he whispered. A lump formed in his throat and constricted his breathing.

Tifa was quiet for a second, tears forming in her chocolate-colored eyes. She took a step forward and reached out a hand to him in a comforting gesture. The motherly concern on her face reminded him of a guardian angel.

"Don't waste it," he said roughly, brushing past her outstretched hand and escaping towards the stairs. He vaguely heard her call out to him, but he did nothing, and before he knew it he was rushing past Aerith in the living room. His legs began to burn beneath the bandages.

"Where are you going?!" Aerith called, rushing to him. "You need your rest-"

"_Reflega," _Cloud muttered. A crystalline shield formed between him and the flower girl, preventing her from coming any closer. The spell took away more energy then he expected, and the blonde swayed unsteadily.

"Cloud, don't do this!" she shouted. She pulled out her Prism Rod and struck the barrier, but to no avail. Tifa came up from behind and delivered a cement-crushing kick. The shield flickered. Even though it didn't break, in Cloud's weakened state, the magickal barrier wouldn't hold much longer. He gave them one last look before he left the house, moving as quickly as he could through the streets, trying his best to block out his friend's cries.

He understood that he was being stupid. He understood that he was making yet another mistake. He just didn't give a damn.

**

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**

You know… I worked

_**ever**_** so hard on this… I think a little **_**compensation **_**is in order. Psst: that button that says 'Submit Review'? That'll do just fine.**


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